the endless joys of working in food service

So - to spice things up in my life, I got the brilliant idea to start working as a waitress the summer after my freshman year in college. Thus began the tales associated with working in the food industry - something everyone should experience during their lifetime. However, something I found to be most interesting, the joys of the food industry are not limited to the United States, they extend to a global level.

My personal experiences include work in country clubs, a tapas bar in Spain, a medium-scale restaurant in Manhattan, KS and an upscale restaurant in Lawrence, KS. Oh the joy and excitement of living table to table, hoping they tip you enough to make rent, bills, student loans, and pup costs.

Some hints for those of you that eat at restaurants:

• $2 or $2 and some change is not a good tip
• wait staff typically makes around $2.13/hr plus tips, so calculate that in to what you leave behind
• while waiting tables requires no significant training or education, it is one of the toughest jobs a person can have - what would you do if you had to wait on seven of your mothers-in-law, plus your nasty high school Science teacher, the bitter woman next door, and the cocky man that thinks snide comments to the waitress are ok?
• pick up after yourself and your kid - no one likes macaroni ground into the carpet, salt all over the table, or other icky things left behind - just because you thought "well, someone will clean that up"
• if you leave a huge mess - leave a huge tip - we'll care less about the mess
• winking is awkward
• ordering the fried chicken grilled with steamed veggies instead of fries and a small side of extra dressing, minimal ice in your drink - also, perhaps could you please have a couple of extra lemon slices? - all super...just realize if it doesn't come out right it's because you waiter has more than one table, the kitchen is slammed, and that many special requests just annoys people - just order the grilled chicken entree

Another perk of working in the food service industry is the boss is always crazy. They cut corners, they don't pay the employees enough, they demand - not ask - the wait staff to do nonsense, and the way the task is completed is never good enough. Some personal favorites of mine include:

• "The carpet cleaner isn't coming until Friday, I need you to hand wash the carpet on the stairs and in the basement?"
• "Go to the kitchen and get the salads!" *on way to kitchen* "Why did you not take their order? Why do they not have their salads?!"
• "You're not mopping correctly. Let me show you how it is done." "Try again, same area, not good enough." - literally 45min. later we were still mopping the same area.
• "You will show every table the dessert plate. If you do not you will be taken off the floor chart and will no longer wait on tables until we decide you are ready for that responsibility."
• "We like to get silverware from garage sales, it saves a lot of money."
• "You need to put more ice in people's drinks, we don't want to give soda away here."
• "Tonight, we are going to have a competition..."
• "Did I just see you carry out that basket of bread without a tray? That is not how we do it here."
• "You may not stand in the kitchen. You may not stand by the host stand. You may not stand by the bar. You may not stand in the lounge." - This leaves you to walk in circles around the restaurant...like a moron.
• "Don't talk about your tips in front of the kitchen staff, we have had cooks quit over the poor amount of money they are paid compared to the wait staff."

Really. It is all great stuff. Experiences of a lifetime. Soo many stories to share.

So. The next time you go out to eat, remember to tip and think about all the nonsense your server has/will deal with during their shift. Plus - when they go home, they smell like whatever the main ingredient is at the restaurant. It's never good, and it's always potent.